It's A Girl!

YOU GUYS! I got a referral! I have been matched with a beautiful 10 year old girl. And.... I get to meet her September 14!!!!! I'm in panic mode now because I leave in 18 days to fly out to her country. So much to do. I was not anticipating getting a referral quite this quickly. I'm over the moon excited and terrified all at once.

I can't share any pictures on social media right now since she is an orphan. What I can say is she has been in the orphanage setting for her entire 10 year life in her home country. And she needs OUT. She needs a home and a family. She needs quality medical care and a good education. She needs US. Now. This first trip is to meet her and to formally "accept" the referral. I will spend 5 days meeting with her daily to get to know her. Then I come home without her for 4-6 months. Yes. Months. And then I get to travel again to bring her home.

My sweet, sweet 8 year old asked if she could help me raise money to get her sister home by designing a t-shirt. How could I say no to her? She picked out the color pink because "She's a girl!". Make sure you check out the front AND back of the shirt. My baby girl is so proud of her design. ;-) https://www.bonfirefunds.com/bringing-her-home

If you'd like to help another way, but don't want to purchase a shirt, you can make a donation to my tax-deductible account here https://www.adopttogether.org/laughlin I have about $10,000 due in legal and agency fees (ransom to get her home!) in the next month or two, with more to come a few months after that.

This long journey is finally just beginning! :-)

Long Overdue

OK. So this update is way overdue. It's been a loooonnnggg time since I posted anything. I've been super busy and haven't had any real news, hence no update. But, I've had lots of people ask me recently what is happening with my adoption. So here goes. I've spent much of the last year and a half in school. I started this adoption process in October 2013 and started paramedic school in December 2013. I finally finished that this past December and took a month and half off from school before I started at the fire academy. Four months later, I graduated from that. It's been a stressful and demanding year and a half, but the great thing is, it gave me something to focus on besides my adoption.

During the end of 2014, I made the huge decision to change the adoption agency I was working with. It was a difficult choice to make, because it meant that I was going to be losing some money that I had already paid. Given how expensive adoption is already, the thought of having to repay fees I had already paid and spend thousands more was stressful. However, I felt that the agency I was with was not supportive, lacked greatly in their communication and willingness to help, and overall was not a good match for me. I worried about completing an adoption with them. I found another agency that was amazing. They had great reviews and went above and beyond to help get me moved over and everything explained to me. I've been nothing but happy to be partnered with them.

Every year I am registered waiting for my country to give me a referral, I must do an update. This includes updating my home study (more of that super fun paperwork) and updating my U.S. Immigration approval. After doing lots of research and soul-searching, I decided to expand my parameters to be matched with a child. This means that I am open to be matched with more "types" of children, including more special needs and older than I originally requested. In the country I am adopting from, the most commonly requested child is "healthy" and under the age of 5. Subsequently, that is the hardest to be matched with and what I originally requested. It is currently taking 4-5 years to receive a referral for a child with that description. The more you are open to, the shorter your wait time could be. My new update was submitted mid-June, so I'm a month into waiting. Who knows what the time line looks like now. But hopefully it will be shorter than what I was looking at before.

I've also had some friends and family ask if there is anything they can do to help. If you're interested in helping bring a child into our loving home, I've set up an adoption donation account. Donations are tax-deductible and all of the money raised will go towards my upcoming legal and travel expenses. Every single dollar helps. You can also share the link with anyone you know that may want to help. https://www.adopttogether.org/laughlin Also, if you're local... I'm selling everything I have that isn't tied down. ;-) If you have stuff you want to get rid of, I'll gladly take it off your hands. Any money I make from selling stuff is also going straight to adoption expenses.

As always, I still appreciate the support and well wishes from all of you. It's a long and hard road and will continue to be. I don't mind questions, so if you have any, ask away. Please continue to keep us in your thoughts. There is an orphan on the other side of the world waiting for a family and we can't wait to have her (or him) home with us.

Yet another update!

Hello, again! Just another quick update for those who have been asking where I'm at now in the process. My dossier was officially registered in country in mid-July. That means I'm on the waiting list for a child. The wait time currently is about three years. But sometimes things move faster, and I could receive a referral at any point. People have been known to get their referral in as little as 5 or six months. So basically.... I hurry up and wait. ;-) And when the time is right, I'll have my kiddo.

While we're waiting, as you know, I've already had two fundraisers. Thank you to everyone who participated by either purchasing or sharing. You're all awesome. I'm happy to announce that I have my next plan up and running ---- and this one won't cost you anything! :-) It's super easy for you and just in time for holiday shopping. Follow any of the below links, make whatever purchase you were going to make anyways, and I get a small amount back. I will use all of the income I earn to help with my next fees. It's a win/win for everyone! As always, I appreciate your love and support in getting my baby home. Whenever that may be.

To help get you started with shopping I've put a few additional search links here:

Still Waiting....

Hi, friends. I was told by my agency a few weeks ago that the current wait time is averaging 8-12 weeks to get my dossier approved in country. As of today, I am 4 days away from hitting 12 weeks. Ugh. But who's counting? Oh. Right. I am. What does it mean when I get approved? I will officially be registered and waiting for a match. That means I could receive a referral for a child at any point after that. (However, some people wait up to three years to get their referral!)

This is where I humbly ask for your help. Bringing an orphan home is very expensive. I've already paid quite a bit towards my U.S. legal and governmental fees and for some B fees. But at any time I could get that call that there is a child waiting for me! And I'll have to come up with over $7000 to accept and move on in the process. So I'd love to start saving now. I will be doing several small fundraisers over the next year. If you'd like to help, I will be eternally grateful. And if not, your well wishes are still appreciated. :-)

I've had a puzzle designed (see the picture below). For each contribution that is made, I will be writing the donor's name on the back of one piece. When the puzzle is completed, I'll put it in a double-sided frame so my future child can see the names of everyone who helped bring him (or her!) home.

I have a new fundraiser up and running right now selling T-shirts that I created to benefit my adoption. I have two weeks to sell a minimum of 25 shirts. Unfortunately, if I don't reach 25 sales, I don't receive any of the money I've made. If you'd like to help, but don't want to make a purchase, please share on your social media. ------>  T-shirt Adoption Fundraiser  <------ I know it may not seem like much, but every little bit helps me get closer to bringing a child home. Forever.

Thanks friends.

Surprise Update!

I've been waiting for what seems to be forever (it's really been only a little over a month......) to hear from my agency with a dossier update. I finally got one Tuesday! My completed dossier was mailed to B on Friday. AND IT WAS RECEIVED IN COUNTRY ON TUESDAY!!!

Next steps- translation, B approval, and then registered. Once it is registered, I am able to receive a referral for my kiddo at any time.

As always, thanks for the support through this long, emotional process. As I explained in the last post, the adoption process is very expensive. If you'd like to help bring an orphan home, I've set up a paypal fundraiser. The link is on the sidebar. All donations will be used for my adoption expenses to bring my baby home. Thanks, friends! You're amazing!

A Popular Question..... and a Thirty-One Fundraiser!

I get asked a lot of questions about my adoption. And I'm ok with that! A question that comes up frequently is "How much is this going to cost you?" I know some adoptive parents are offended or hurt by this question. To me, I know it is just out of curiosity and no one is asking it to be rude. It's expensive. Yes. But so is giving birth. And I can't think of anyone ever asking me how much it cost to deliver my biological daughter.

So I want to set the record straight. I am not paying for my child. No adoptive parent does. The cost comes from agency fees, legal fees, the piles of documents that must be filled out, checked, checked again, and translated, the homestudy, and travel fees. That all adds up - to a lot.

I thought I'd break down some of the costs, just to get it out there in the open. Every adoption is different. Each agency has different fees, domestic and international adoptions have different costs, and travel fees vary significantly. But the following breakdown is a rough estimate of mine. As you can see the fees add up to about $30,000, with travel being about 25% alone. And none of these fees are for "a child"!

• Agency Fees (includes fees for my agency, Hague training courses, Dossier assistance, homestudy, and post-adoption reports) - $9000
• USCIS Filing (includes fingerprints) - $890
• Foreign Adoption Program Fees - $3000
• B Legal Coordination Fees (includes translation of documents, legal and court fees in country, and a translator for my trips) - $8250
• Travel (two trips for a week each, the second trip has a child's one way ticket home!) - $7700

Which brings me to my next bit of news. Very exciting! Another adoptive momma has graciously offered to help me with a fundraiser to help bring my child home. She is a consultant for Thirty-One and will be donating her entire commission from any purchase you make to my adoption fund! That means 25% of your purchase will go to my agency to help with my fees. The sale will go on for a week and a half. Please feel free to share the blog with anyone you think may be interested. As I've said before, I appreciate the support I receive from all of you. Any help you can offer to help me bring my kiddo home would be unbelievable. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. :-)

If you're interested in doing some shopping, follow this link!
https://www.mythirtyone.com/shop/eventhome.aspx?eventId=E4391091&from=MYEVENTS&verify=true


If you make a purchase online, please email Paula O'Brien at kaz_mom@hotmail.com to verify she received your order. You must choose "ship to customer". The fundraiser will end April 12, 2014.

Moving on!

I received my I-800A approval notice from the Department of Homeland Security! This approval says that I am approved to adopt a child from B that meets the criteria I requested (age, gender, and health status) and that once the adoption is finalized in B, and I bring my child home, he or she will immediately become a citizen. Without this approval, I would not be allowed to bring my child home.


With this in hand, my dossier was FINALLY completed. I sent out the dossier to my agency last Tuesday. What a relief to know that (for now) the mountains of paperwork are done. The agency received the packet on Thursday and by Friday they had already sent out the documents to different agencies. All of the paperwork that had been notarized here (pretty much EVERY page in the dossier) has to go to Florida's Secretary of State to receive an Apostille. The FBI background checks (yes, seriously- we had to do those) go to the U.S. State Department to receive their Apostille. This form will be attached to each of my papers, verifying the signature or notarization on it. I am told this process should take about two weeks and then my completed dossier will be sent to Bulgaria!

As always, thank you again for your well wishes and continued support. It means everything to me as I pursue this dream.

An Update

On January 13 I finally made my announcement. Only a few of my closest friends and my family knew about the adoption prior to that. I was waiting for my home study approval before spilling the news. When I finally got the letter, I could hardly contain my excitement and took to Facebook to share it. I was overwhelmed by the wonderful support and notes of congratulations I got. It took most people by surprise but everyone was so positive and happy. It means so much to me.

I've had many people ask what's going on and what step I'm in, so I thought it would be easiest to just explain it all here.

So from start to finish- I picked my country and agency and submitted my initial application. Once that was approved, there was an agency contract to sign and return. My agency is based in Texas, but also licensed in Florida, so they assigned me a social worker to do my Home Study. She was AMAZING!!!

So, next began what is known as "the paper chase". Wow. Piles and piles of paper. Licenses, certificates, statements,  multiple background checks, photocopies, originals, doctor appointments, letters, references... It was a headache. Some of the forms had to be in duplicate (or even triplicate)- one for the home study and one for the dossier. Then there was meeting the social worker in our house for an interview. After that, she completed and approved my home study.

While all of that was going on, I was also gathering the same forms (and more!) for my Dossier- my official packet that will be sent to B. That includes more contracts, licenses, background checks, family photos, my home study, and plenty more. It also will have my approval from USCIS (Citizenship and Immigration). I have to have pre-approval from them since as soon as the adoption is finalized, my child will be a US citizen. Right now, that is all I'm waiting for. The dossier is complete and ready to be sent to my agency as soon as I receive my approval from USCIS. I did my fingerprints today for that and should hopefully get my approval forms in the next two week!

After that, my dossier goes to my agency. They spend some time authenticating the paperwork (it has to go to different branches of the US government to prove that it is real) and then the papers will be sent to B. There, they will be translated and gone through again, and I will have to be approved by them to adopt one of their children. Once that happens, I wait. And wait some more. They say the wait could be upwards of three years. But B, is starting to move a little faster. So fingers crossed that it won't be that long.

And for those that are wondering, we have not specified male or female and have requested a child between the ages of 2 and 5.

I want to say thank you, once again, for the continued support. It means the world to me. This is a long and difficult process. Not a day goes by that I don't think and wonder about my child. But I know things will happen when the time is right, so I'm trying to take it day by day.

Christmas is coming!

Christmas will be here within a week. It's, by far, my favorite time of the year. But I had a breakdown this week. Tears of sadness. I spoil my biological child. A lot. I know this. And I accept it. But my other child- the one waiting to be matched with me- will spend this Christmas (and likely several more) on the other side of the world. In an orphanage. Does he or she have warm enough clothes, good, healthy food, and most importantly love? Are toys or books too far-fetched to even imagine?

I decided to buy a Christmas tree ornament this year for him or her, so that years from now, he'll know I was thinking of him. We're also going to cook a B side dish to have with our Christmas dinner and I'll be trying to bake maslenki (a Christmas cookie). This is my tiny attempt at feeling closer to him this season.

Obicham te, little one. I love you and Merry Christmas!

Wow.

A very sobering thought hit me the other day. The waiting time for a referral for a child in B right now is 2-3 years on average. I've requested a child between the ages of 2-4. There is a very real possibility that my child is sitting in an orphanage right now. Waiting. Wondering. Is he or she happy? Lonely? Hungry? Sick?

I put a lot of thought into choosing to adopt from B. I was almost swayed a few times into going with a different country. But deep down, something in my gut made me stay on this path. I believe my child is waiting for me. This child has been selected for me to parent. Eventually, this child will know me as Mommy- the one to comfort, heal, educate, and love him. But until then... he or she will be growing up in an institution. I can only hope that my child and all of the other orphans are loved and well taken care of until their forever families arrive.

Our Adoption Timeline

Our timeline from start to finish-

• College, 2001- Decided one day I would adopt a child, hopefully from Russia.

• 2012- Started thinking more seriously about pursuing an adoption.

• Sept 2013- Began heavy research on country and agency options, as well as financing options. Contacted agencies to get information and decided to pursue adoption in an Eastern European nation.

• Oct 03, 2013- Submitted application and application fee to chosen agency!

• Oct 04, 2013- Received call from agency that application looks good and I should receive contract soon. :-)

• Oct 08, 2013- Received email with agency contract!

• Oct 16, 2013- Mailed the signed agency contract and first payment. 

• Oct 23, 2013- Received agency package with envelopes for two mailers. First mailer will be pretty quick to gather.

• Oct 28, 2013- Spoke to my assigned Social Worker. Since I live in a state my agency is licensed in, I use the SW they assign me. She immediately emailed me a list of documents to start filling out and gathering. Yikes.

• Nov 12, 2013- 1st mailer was sent to the agency.

• Nov 14, 2013- Fingerprints done at local PD to mail with FBI background check.

• Nov 22, 2013- Home Study meeting. My social worker is awesome. So nice and caring. I had most of my documents gathered but had some issues getting my medical forms completed. It will take a few more weeks to finish that. In the meantime, pretty much everything else is on hold til that's completed.

• Dec 9, 2013- Mailed request for federal FBI background check. They say it takes approx 5 weeks for return.

• Jan 18, 2014- Received my final copy of my Home Study! I am approved to adopt a child from B. AHHHH!!!!!

• Jan 21, 2014- Mailed my paperwork to USCIS for immigration approval. They say the wait time is approx. 40 days for approval (but I will be assigned a day for fingerprints).

• Feb 3, 2014- Received FBI background check results. (It took about 8 weeks instead of the 5 weeks they estimated.)

• Feb 6, 2014- Received a letter from USCIS with my appointment for biometrics. They're moving fast!

• Feb 25, 2014- Went down and had fingerprints done today for USCIS. They claim I should have my approval paperwork within 2 weeks.

• March 7, 2014- Received I-800A Approval Notice!!!!! (Dated from Feb 28. Well that was fast!)

• March 11, 2014- Mailed completed Dossier to agency. Had to re-do one form before sending it. The financial statement was done in 2013 for the Home Study. The agency said it would be best to send one for the current year.

• March 13, 2014- Agency received Dossier.

• March 14, 2014- Agency sent documents out for Apostille.

• April 30, 2014- Dossier received in B!!

• July 11, 2014- Registered in B! Not notified until July 21, 2014.

• October 2014- After much deliberation, I've decided to change agencies. It's a little bit time consuming and a lot stressful, but it's the right choice for me. (Contract signed Oct 24)

• November 2014- Time to start the process for the home study update already.

• March 8, 2015- Home Study Update completed. Needs to be sent to FL for apostille.

• March 19, 2015 USCIS Lockbox notification of I800A.

• June 19, 2015- Update logged in B.

5600 Miles to Home!

Welcome! I'm new to this whole blogging thing, so I guess I'll just dive right in.

My name is Kelly. I'm a single mom to a smart, adorable, and funny 6-year-old daughter, my little Monkey. For YEARS I've dreamed of one day adopting a child (specifically from Russia... but now that won't be happening). I've finally decided that there's no time like the present. I'm doing it! Now!

After much research and soul searching, I've decided to adopt a child from Eastern Europe. We have requested a child between the ages of 2 and 4 (at the time of the referral), but have not specified a gender. (My daughter has her heart set on a little brother.)

I will be using this blog as a way to update family and friends (and anyone else!) on our progress. The excitement, the joy, the wait, the heartbreak, the frustration. Everything that comes with the territory of adoption. Oh. And the title? 5600 miles is how the orphanage is from Florida. That's how far my child will have to travel to come home!